Rumors have flown as to why the ACC went silent on March 17. An informer found an abandoned camera hidden behind a downtown statue. The camera's contents only deepens the mystery.
As we piece this story together, we've confirmed a local establishment was invaded by leprechauns last Saturday night.
Among the green revelers, three super-hot women stood out as the clear party queens.
We sent out reporters to confirm the sketchy story the pictures were telling by interviewing individuals identified in the photos. Most were unwilling to talk about what they had seen and heard, one referring us to his attorney and another citing PTSD, but one, going by the name of W., let it slip there was serious political talk taking place including city appointments.
Also under discussion, according to W., was a major upcoming charity event, but, alas, he claims to not know the details. According to our reporter, the fear in W.'s eyes during this denial suggests he knows more than he's telling.
Were the three party queens Chatter Chicks in green disguises?
Can bodacious partying be awarded with city appointments?
Do the Rockettes know they've been ripped off by some Jeff chicks that dance EXACTLY LIKE THEM but have longer, trimmer legs?
Will cranberry juice consumption become another individual mandate of Obamacare as W. comes under the Chicks' power and carries their message to O.?
What the hell is up with this major charity event?
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