Lipstick sales plunge on question of legal risks
PARIS -- World cosmetic markets were rattled as news of an increased risk of indictment from use of the product surfaced earlier this week.
Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan of the United States explained in an interview on Thursday that grand juries indict people because of the color of their lipstick. Panic quickly spread with several cities reporting lipstick and other cosmetics being dumped in rivers and streams. Several small communities in the UK held lipstick burnings to prevent their citizens from being charged with voter fraud.
The impact on lipstick sales was profound and immediate as the legal risk news made its way across the globe Thursday night.
Galligan was defensive about his impact on cosmetic sales in a Friday interview.
"Those cosmetic companies in Europe have an agenda. Those sales figures are political. Every time there's an election, you're going to have people making these claims that I caused a world market to crash," Galligan said.
"It's like farting in an elevator, a good way to warm things up and get people to stop wearing so much damn lipstick," said Clark County, In, USA Democratic Chair Rod Pate.
"That's why I don't wear lipstick. I'm afraid I'll get indicted," said Clark County columnist and reputed smart-ass Debbie Harbeson in a Facebook post.
"Attempting to hold Tom Galligan responsible for his words is hogwash and the most silliest thing I've every heard," said Galligan operative Matt Chill.
In a speech Friday morning, US President Barack Obama tried to quell the rising economic and legal fears.
"Listen. I understand people are hurting. Michelle and I are hurting. She likes wearing makeup, but as the First Family, we understand that we just can't take the risk of being charged with forgery and voter fraud. America was built by people just like you, people who were convinced wearing lipstick and manipulating absentee ballots were the same thing. They understood that prosecutors and grand juries charge people and have them arrested for poor color choices every day. Second-class city mayors say stupid things all the time. Can we, like those brave men and women that came before us, survive this? What? I can't hear you! Yes, we can!," Obama said.
World leaders will meet over the weekend to discuss the economic fallout of these developments.
One of the best!!
ReplyDeletePlain stupid!Can't you do any better than this?
ReplyDeletePlain funny! No one could do better than this!
ReplyDeleteAgain an excellent musical choice. I remember when this video first came out I always wondered why he wore the red codpiece. Now as I look back on it I wonder why he wore the red codpiece and the pornstache. Then again I guess everyone had the pornstache back then. It was the Magnum PI thing to do.
ReplyDeleteHey it looks like I can post again. my banishment from KatoAnon has been lifted.
Brian Coffman
SquarePeg, ChopperWoman and Mr. Brain, thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, bite me.
Mr. Brain, any previous comments never showed up on this end either. Any banishment was unintentional, and I'm glad it has ended.
Kato, if I was you, I would ignore that little peeksqueak anonymous!
ReplyDeleteHere's a few little insults I have for anon since they insist on showing up on your fabulous, blog!
Here goes, hope you like them!
I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it
yet.
When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll
say your stupidity.
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feel for you is the real thing.
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Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already
without your working so hard to give us another?
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as I loathe you.
When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
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take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
I hear that when your mother first saw you she decided to leave you on the
front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
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be made to suffer and here you came along.
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fly through your cranium.
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tell me to kill you.
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I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would
eat.
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so.
Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you
WERE dead.
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thief and a cheat.
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You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.
Love your blog!
Ruthy