WLCC's The Buzz Radio Show

Announcer: Welcome back to WLCC radio! Joining me in the studio are Clique and Claque, our two fly on the wall reporters -- literally, guys, they're flies; they were on the wall -- bringing us the latest buzz from the first gathering of a reactivated civic group, League of Women Voters. Welcome, Clique, Claque.

Clique: Thanks, Mike. Glad to be here.

Announcer: So, guys, give us the scoop.

Clique: Some women and a few guys got together. They talked about how wonderful the League is, signed some people up, collected some checks for dues. There will be another meeting next month. Seems like a good thing. Thanks for having us.

Claque: Chicken.

Clique: Shut up. We're not going there.

Announcer: Come on, guys. We've got another six minutes of air time to fill. That can't be it. I heard rumors of some clashing personalities, people in attendance that can't stand each other. Also heard there were some pretty good cookies.

Clique: The cookies were good.

Claque: Not that cookies are a good choice for some in attendance, hee hee.

Clique: Shhh.

Announcer: What do you mean, Claque?

Claque: Well, it's just that...

Clique: Shut up, damnit! I'm telling you, we're better than that.

Claque: You might be, but I'm not, and I'm telling.

Announcer: Please do. Our listeners are waiting.

Clique: I'm out of here. I told you the facts. All he is going to talk about is conflict and gossip. The stuff of a Jerry Springer episode. As a fly, I've only got about another 20 minutes to live, and I'm not spending it endangering my immortal soul. (Studio door slams)

Announcer: Wow. I'm surprised to hear flies think they have souls.

Claque: That was harsh, Mike. But back to the dish. So, one of my weaknesses is reading all the local blogs and forums. They're like wine glasses with just a drop left in the bottom to me. I fall right in. So I was as startled as the next bug when before the meeting began, I looked at one big girl's name tag and read the name "Abbysnana."

Announcer: Uh, oh. That sounds like a good way to mess up a civil gathering. And she actually put her screen name on her name tag for a civic group?

Claque: She did. Weird, right? But that's not what really got me. Just before the meeting began, Kelley Curran showed up, too.

Announcer: You've got my attention now. They were both there?

Claque: Oh, not just them, but another Clark County Chatter poster Abbysnana has liked to make fun of, and Vicki and Nancy Moore, Mayoral Candidate Mike Moore's wife and mother, and Amy, the nutty ex-wife. All in one little room with a dozen innocent bystanders.

Announcer: Oh, my. I'd like to have been a fly on the wall in that room.

Claque: Um, that's kinda what you have me for, but anyway, so I was saying, Kelley shows up. Now Abbysnana -- Lisa Smith is her real name, though she doesn't seem to know that -- is always making cracks about Kelley's weight. Turns out, Lisa is about three times Kelley's size! Talk about the big fat kettle calling the average-sized pot fat!

Announcer: No!

Claque: Yes!

Announcer: Were there any conflicts between the two women?

Claque: Actually, no. Lisa seemed a little out of place. After all, this was a group of respectable people in the community specifically meeting to promote civil discourse. Not really Lisa's strong point. The fireworks were between Lisa and Vicki Moore, and I must say, my respect for Vicki shot through the roof.

Announcer: Do tell.

Claque: So, those leading the meeting are talking about discussing things in a respectful way, even when people disagree, yada, yada. Vicki raises her hand and asks whether it would be permissible to slander a candidate. The organizers, of course, said no. So Vicki confirms and says, "so if someone is the type that does slander people, they probably shouldn't join, right?" and cuts a long, lovely and disgusted look over at Lisa.

Announcer: Oooh. So perfectly catty. You're telling me that Vicki Moore has beauty, brains and balls?

Claque: Well, yes. They're very classy feminine balls, but, yes.

Announcer: What did Lisa do?

Claque: So then Lisa pipes up and says, "we can speak up though if they're disgusting, like say a..." and went on to repeat a slanderous accusation. Everyone in the room starts shaking their heads and getting visibly uncomfortable. Funniest part is, it was Barb Anderson, who Lisa has tried to be buddy-buddy with, who shut her up. Barb yelled loudly and firmly at Lisa, "Hey! We're not going to have that here!"

Announcer: What did Lisa do then?

Claque: She shut up.

Announcer: I didn't know she knew how to do that.

Claque: Me either. Go figure. She didn't even say anything to Kelley the whole time even though she constantly posts on her forum as if she's talking directly to Kelley, trying so desperately to get her attention and pretend they have some real connection or relationship. But here was her opportunity, and she didn't say a word.

Announcer: Wow. Changes my perspective on a few things. And you say she's fat?

Claque: Huge.