Breaking photo spread exclusive! MIA HT spotted canoodling with Chatter Chicks! Jeff City Council candidate is almost like Mike!
But first this musical interlude
And...
Monday Shop Talk with Dave Hampe
We are constantly crunching the vast amount of data that flow into our newsroom, particularly traffic sources. There's been an upswing of page views in the past few weeks, but it is in no way related to any content of a local nature. Rather, it turns out that having things like this:
is great for page views. That is because hot+construction+worker is a rather popular search. It made the top three this week.
HT spotted at local social hotspot
and he's not alone!
It was a little drafty.
Alan and Mike got their backs.
Chopper presents HT to the queen as Jack Kennedy looks on.
"That shoulder seemed a little tense," said whatsherface.
CITY COUNCIL CANDIDATE proves she is JUST LIKE MIKE!
...As in
Michael Jordan!
Mike does a better job keeping a straight face.
Very important to note the feet in this picture are cut off. Candidate really had her feet positioned perfectly like Mike's according to our reporter.
PARIS -- World cosmetic markets were rattled as news of an increased risk of indictment from use of the product surfaced earlier this week.
Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan of the United States explained in an interview on Thursday that grand juries indict people because of the color of their lipstick. Panic quickly spread with several cities reporting lipstick and other cosmetics being dumped in rivers and streams. Several small communities in the UK held lipstick burnings to prevent their citizens from being charged with voter fraud.
The impact on lipstick sales was profound and immediate as the legal risk news made its way across the globe Thursday night.
Galligan was defensive about his impact on cosmetic sales in a Friday interview.
"Those cosmetic companies in Europe have an agenda. Those sales figures are political. Every time there's an election, you're going to have people making these claims that I caused a world market to crash," Galligan said.
"It's like farting in an elevator, a good way to warm things up and get people to stop wearing so much damn lipstick," said Clark County, In, USA Democratic Chair Rod Pate.
"That's why I don't wear lipstick. I'm afraid I'll get indicted," said Clark County columnist and reputed smart-ass Debbie Harbeson in a Facebook post.
"Attempting to hold Tom Galligan responsible for his words is hogwash and the most silliest thing I've every heard," said Galligan operative Matt Chill.
In a speech Friday morning, US President Barack Obama tried to quell the rising economic and legal fears.
"Listen. I understand people are hurting. Michelle and I are hurting. She likes wearing makeup, but as the First Family, we understand that we just can't take the risk of being charged with forgery and voter fraud. America was built by people just like you, people who were convinced wearing lipstick and manipulating absentee ballots were the same thing. They understood that prosecutors and grand juries charge people and have them arrested for poor color choices every day. Second-class city mayors say stupid things all the time. Can we, like those brave men and women that came before us, survive this? What? I can't hear you! Yes, we can!," Obama said.
World leaders will meet over the weekend to discuss the economic fallout of these developments.
Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan who had previously been quoted as dismissing the CCC as a site, "only twelve people," read, has decided to begin advertising his mayoral campaign on the local forum.
Has Galligan recognized the immense reach of the CCC and realized citizens engaged on the site are likely voters?
Does he have so much campaign money contributed by those hoping to do business with the city that he doesn't know what to do with it all?
Has he gotten truly desperate now that his right-hand man is under indictment?
Has the mayor, after struggling with his weight for years, decided to take up the crack pipe as a way to reduce and suddenly thinks advertising to an audience of twelve is a good media buy?
But I did run across a cartoon that made me think of the BatDude
And got a real surprise when I tried to find a video for this post.
Who knew?
Then there's this, which has absolutely nothing to do with HT.
Dude isn't all that hot, but I so admire the presumably female brain that thought to grab the camera. I'm a strong advocate of reverse sexual harassment.
I don't have to do a Monday mega edition if I don't feel like it. That Monday spike in anticipatory page views has no power over me. My blog. I'll do what I want.
If anyone would like to join me, I'll be hanging around the Floyd Co. Democrats booth but buying my drinks from Sertoma and making a signficant donation to the Floyd Co. Animal Shelter since I hear such good things about them.
Here is a shout out to all the cognitively challenged individuals out there who just can't wrap their little brains around this shit. Never let it be said we don't try to help the special people among us.
Kato isn't real. The fact statues can't talk really should've been a hint.
Just because Fifi Picard or Molly Broom or, God love her, Louisa Black says something, doesn't mean Kato agrees or that the primary author of this blog agrees. Recklessly attributing comments made here (or elsewhere online) to people in the real world is highly fucked up and uncool.
This blog is not the official site for any person or group. No one in their right mind would publicly associate with this blog.
We have some Facebook friends and followers clearly not in their right mind. We love them anyway.
Trying to insult a blog or blogger that has the word "fuck" right there at the top of the blog by saying it is filthy or that they curse isn't a really effective insult. It's more of a, "no shit, Sherlock," situation.
No decent person really gives a fuck what a racist says or thinks.
Kato wasn't at a recent city council meeting. Fifi's mommy was.
Why the hell are you reading this again? Is it for the poor writing? The curse words? The bad videos?
Please look up the following words: fiction, product, persona.
If you still think there is some accusation of being dirty or offensive that is going to get under the skin of those associated with the Commentaries, please reference the wonderful family show South Park. That's pretty much the standard for decency around here. Dirty is ok. Hatin' is ok. It all just has to be funny and deserved.
Funny and deserved are subjective concepts. We don't give a shit if you disagree about whether something in particular meets the criteria.
There are one or two readers who have stated they don't share the same language used here, but they've been wise enough to get that this is a product and/or that the writer(s) may just be coming from a different place than them generationally or artistically.
We like wise people.
Kids, nothing shown here should be tried at home.
Restrictions may apply. Interest rates may vary. Results are atypical. Endorsers are poorly paid actors.
NO MONEY is made from this blog. It is NOT being written from Belize.
For entertainment purposes only.
Please remain at least five feet away from the strippers. Excuse our mess. Bless our home.
For further understanding of these points, please click here.Additional disclaimer: link goes to a raunchy South Park clip with a moral.
The word "creative" strongly implies something is being created. That means it's being made up.
The use of terms like "creative" and "artistic" should not be contrued to mean we think we're great artists.
Art is subjective.
We do not think we're as awesome as South Park. Or Tosh. Or Hemingway. Or NSBHM.
Transcript from press conference held earlier today
Reporter 1: Kato, are you running for president?
Kato: I'm honored to have received requests from hundreds of thousands of my fellow Americans to run for this nation's highest office, but after consulting with my family, my God and my masseuse Juan and after many hours of intense meditation, reflection and inebriation, I have decided that I will not be pursuing the office of President of the United States in 2012.
Reporter 2: Is there a chance you will still get into the 2012 race?
Kato: No. There is no chance.
Reporter 3: Under what circumstances would you run for president in the near future?
Kato: Under no circumstances. I won't be running.
Reporter 4: Kato, are you still weighing a presidential bid?
Kato: No. I'm not. Have you been paying attention?
Reporter 5: Republicans voters have expressed interest in having another candidate enter the GOP field. Are you that candidate?
Kato: Is this mic on? Testing, testing, tap, tap.
Reporter 6: What would it take to get you to enter the presidential contest?
Kato: I don't know, a threat? A gun to my head? Since I've decided not to do it, I don't know what it would take to make me do it, dipshit.
Reporter 7: Do you think the use of language like "dipshit" will hurt you in your upcoming presidential bid?
Kato: Did you guys all burn one before I got here? Seriously, are you fucking stoned? Roll me one out of your bag.
Reporter 8: Kato, who is on your short list for running mates?
Kato: I wasn't playing. Roll me one out of your bag. Now.
Reporter 9: Do you think your paleness and stiffness will be a problem with GOP presidential primary voters?
Kato: It isn't a newsflash to me that I'm a statue. Seven, don't make a pinner either.
Reporter 10: What will be your agenda for your first 100 days in office?
Kato: Really? Psssssha. (holding smoke) You guys are a mess.
Posted with kind thoughts going out to River Girl, Champagne, mole, Penny, et. al.
Monday plea for help contributed by Fifi Picard
Please pardon my French, but someone get me the fuck out of here! I didn't do anything to deserve this. So maybe I wandered over to stick my ass in the neighbor dogboy's face. I'm a bitch in heat. It's to be expected. His overprotective mom didn't have to call the law on me. The hag. He'll be a bitch too if she keeps treating him like that.
Now I'm in the pen, literally. Some nice ladies tried to come back and see me earlier, but the mean men wouldn't let them back here. Said they're troublemakers. Personally, I think the assholes who came back here and blasted me with cold water are the troublemakers. Laughed about it and said, "they want the cages clean, we'll get 'em clean alright." I hope mommy hurries up and springs me from here. I promise I'll be good.
This place sucks. Reminds me of the bad place for dogs my mommy was reading about on the computer. She was hopping mad. Said some asshole political hacks were claiming some nice ladies who wanted the dog place to be better were just political hacks. She said someone oughta neuter some bastards. Sounds good to me.
She even came home one night from a city council meeting mad and said two of the council people must be political hacks too since they used the meeting and their office to try to score points against some guys who work for the county. They said the county owed them money. Then some old lady who mommy thought was one of their friends on the council said some cities owe some money, too, but the assholes were just worried about the county. Money is money, right?
I did have one little bit of fun. On the way in here last night, we passed by one of those signs for the fat, red-faced mayor guy in the hallway, the one mommy doesn't like. Don't tell anybody, but I tinkled on his sign! It was very unladylike to hike my leg up like that, but I just couldn't help it.
I miss my mommy. Those mutts over there are coughing and puking. They better not give me anything. I'm a pretty girl with a pedigree. This was my first arrest. I sure as hell don't deserve a death sentence because someone doesn't know how to take care of dogs.
What is that guy doing? Are those butcher knives? MOMMY!!!!!
Cowboy pic of the week!
Monday editorial comment
Don't start nothin', won't be nothin' and all that. Bitch is startin' some shit.
