Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Funky
Note from editorial board:
It should never be assumed any group or individual mentioned on this blog, real or imaginary, endorses the views expressed therein. The KatoAnon Commentaries is an independent venture and product not affiliated with any civic, political or social groups. For more details on this disclaimer, please see that at the beginning of all South Park episodes and the fine print in car commercials.
Thank you and good day.
I said good day.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Some stuff is always cool
Please note some editing has been done of Tuesday's post. Consider this a good-faith gesture made in the hope some mutual "friends" may be good influences and squash some stuff. Things go well, I'll edit it more.
Please also note this comes at no small sacrifice from me. There was some funny stuff in there. ACME Tent Laudering Company. Crabs can jump at least fifteen feet. C'mon. It was pretty good. Sick, but good.
Thursday Editorial Comment
Have a seat.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Mea Culpa Wednesday?
Not likely.
And anyway, The Commentaries is at least as classy as Hustler.
"Jerry Falwell Talks about his first time.
FALWELL: My first time was in an outhouse outside Lynchburg, Virginia.
INTERVIEWER: Wasn't it a little cramped?
FALWELL: Not after I kicked the goat out.
INTERVIEWER: I see. You must tell me all about it.
FALWELL: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, 'What the hell?'"
See full ad which was the subject of Hustler Magazine v. Falwell here.
And anyway, The Commentaries is at least as classy as Hustler.
"Jerry Falwell Talks about his first time.
FALWELL: My first time was in an outhouse outside Lynchburg, Virginia.
INTERVIEWER: Wasn't it a little cramped?
FALWELL: Not after I kicked the goat out.
INTERVIEWER: I see. You must tell me all about it.
FALWELL: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, 'What the hell?'"
See full ad which was the subject of Hustler Magazine v. Falwell here.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Titilating Tuesday Tear
The boogie is back!
A note from The KatoAnon Editorial Board
The Commentaries newsroom has been abuzz, a hive of activity, crawling with energy. A tip came in. It said this publication's primary author was being once again linked with the author of a very lame blog. The tipster said it had been also alleged our boss had lied about her reasoning for dropping out of Goliath's SurvivorQuest game.
A local "blogger" claims rather than a demanding schedule and a desire to not hold her team back, Kato instead dropped out due to an inability to work as part of a team and some vague nastiness. Unbeknowst to the bosslady, her entire vast media empire sprung into action to defend her good name.
We of the editorial board chose to take the logic offered in this "blogger's" post - the logic of being a bitch and making a retarded allegation with no basis in fact - and extrapolate this to explain this same "blogger's" absence from the LWV meeting Monday night. She said it had something to do with the grandkids, but since we know how many fingers are pointing at one who points at others, we were sure it wasn't the real reason. So we made up a few reasons of our own. They included:
She's a chicken shit. This makes the second event she previously committed to, ran her fat mouth about, knew one or more former targets would be attending, then bailed.
She's gained another hundred pounds and was ashamed, particularly since she had heard someone ekse dropped another size and looks fabulous.
She knew she couldn't act right among civilized people and wisely chose to sit it out.
She has a secret crush on one of the LWV attendees and doesn't trust herself to be around them.
She was at home doing something so gross and perverted our imaginations refused to contemplate the actual scenario.
She was at home treating a raging case of crabs.
Oh, the irony! We thought we were making stuff up!
We have removed the references to WLCC's The Buzz Radio Show which was taped earlier this week in accordance with our attorney's advice. A former contracted reporter is suing us for her husband's death. We have no further comment...at this time.
A note from The KatoAnon Editorial Board
The Commentaries newsroom has been abuzz, a hive of activity, crawling with energy. A tip came in. It said this publication's primary author was being once again linked with the author of a very lame blog. The tipster said it had been also alleged our boss had lied about her reasoning for dropping out of Goliath's SurvivorQuest game.
A local "blogger" claims rather than a demanding schedule and a desire to not hold her team back, Kato instead dropped out due to an inability to work as part of a team and some vague nastiness. Unbeknowst to the bosslady, her entire vast media empire sprung into action to defend her good name.
We of the editorial board chose to take the logic offered in this "blogger's" post - the logic of being a bitch and making a retarded allegation with no basis in fact - and extrapolate this to explain this same "blogger's" absence from the LWV meeting Monday night. She said it had something to do with the grandkids, but since we know how many fingers are pointing at one who points at others, we were sure it wasn't the real reason. So we made up a few reasons of our own. They included:
She's a chicken shit. This makes the second event she previously committed to, ran her fat mouth about, knew one or more former targets would be attending, then bailed.
She's gained another hundred pounds and was ashamed, particularly since she had heard someone ekse dropped another size and looks fabulous.
She knew she couldn't act right among civilized people and wisely chose to sit it out.
She has a secret crush on one of the LWV attendees and doesn't trust herself to be around them.
She was at home doing something so gross and perverted our imaginations refused to contemplate the actual scenario.
She was at home treating a raging case of crabs.
Oh, the irony! We thought we were making stuff up!
We have removed the references to WLCC's The Buzz Radio Show which was taped earlier this week in accordance with our attorney's advice. A former contracted reporter is suing us for her husband's death. We have no further comment...at this time.
Tuesday teaser
Were undetected fly reporters present at last night's League of Women Voters meeting?
Were there fireworks among the participants again?
Had anyone lost or gained weight?
Were all heavy hitters present and accounted for?
Does someone need to be called out for implying this blog's primary author bowed out of Goliath's SurvivorQuest for other than the stated reasons?
Will we let our good name again being linked to a Republican just slide?
Does a local blogger have a secret crush on Cindiloohoo?
Answers to those questions and more tonight on The KatoAnon Commentaries.
Were there fireworks among the participants again?
Had anyone lost or gained weight?
Were all heavy hitters present and accounted for?
Does someone need to be called out for implying this blog's primary author bowed out of Goliath's SurvivorQuest for other than the stated reasons?
Will we let our good name again being linked to a Republican just slide?
Does a local blogger have a secret crush on Cindiloohoo?
Answers to those questions and more tonight on The KatoAnon Commentaries.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Monday Mega-Edition! The Mega-est Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The FOR REAL COWBOY PIC OF THE WEEK!!!!!
And that is so not all!!!!
Breaking KatoAnon News Exclusive
Sometime before 4 p.m. today Jeffersonville's Most Famous Resident Cowboy became engaged to one Barbara D. after presenting her a diamond engagement ring at their shared place of employment. They will marry in Warder Park in September.
"I figured it was time. Me and her been going together about eight years," Cowboy said.
The Commentaries would like to congratulate the future Mr. and Mrs. Cowboy on their imminent nuptials and offer our condolences to all those single ladies out there who let another good one get away.
But Wait!!!!
They can mourn in this!!!!!
 |
Artistic credit to Cindiloohoo, special art consultant to The KatoAnon Commentaries |
It is what it looks like, folks, a Cowboy T-Shirt T-Shirt!
Only $24.99!
Have your candidate's name screenprinted on the back for an additional $5!
(Not available in Tom Galligan for Mayor)
Monday Editorial Comment
Boycott this.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Saturday Night Party Edition!
Mandatory Mood Music
Seriously mandatory. If you can't muster up enough enthusiasm to click on the video in order to fully appreciate my artistic vision here, please, do us both a favor and just leave.
KatoAnon Exclusive: The Commentaries' Inaugural Flash-Mob Challenge
The KatoAnon Commentaries' Department of Groovy Thoughts hereby issues the first-ever Commentaries Flash-Mob Challenge.
Inspired by the parade of chicks having fun at the end of the classic "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" music video by fun girl Cindi Lauper, the Commentaries officially challenges ALL Chatter Chicks to make this happen in our time, in our community.
A substantial parade is necessary to have an impact. Therefore, it is imperative that invitations and arm-twisting for participation be extended to all de facto Chatter chicks, that is all female Chatter members, not just the top-secret, underground, invitation-only, elusive and exclusive auxillary of E-vil do-gooders known in legend as the Chatter Chicks.
Do us proud, chicks, and please, please give us exclusive coverage of the event.
Saturday 80's Confession
I've wore my hair like Cindi Lauper's, but could never get the Bonnie Tyler thing quite right.
Saturday Shop Talk by David Hampe
Newly-released analysis shows surprising results.
Our marketing department has recently discovered a positive correlation between the condition of being boycotted for demeaning men and the number of page views. The only normative conclusion we reach based on this new data is that we should demean men more if increased page views is the goal.
We'd like to direct readers' eyes to the right of the page. You may have to scroll to find it, but immediately under its heading, you will find a list of popular posts. They are ranked according to their popularity. Our experts interpret the patter they represent as evidence the "smut sells" trend is holding.
Bless you as you enjoy your Sunday Morning.
Saturday Editorial Comment
It's too tight. It won't burn.
Seriously mandatory. If you can't muster up enough enthusiasm to click on the video in order to fully appreciate my artistic vision here, please, do us both a favor and just leave.
Dig those phones and high-tech fx.
KatoAnon Exclusive: The Commentaries' Inaugural Flash-Mob Challenge
The KatoAnon Commentaries' Department of Groovy Thoughts hereby issues the first-ever Commentaries Flash-Mob Challenge.
Inspired by the parade of chicks having fun at the end of the classic "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" music video by fun girl Cindi Lauper, the Commentaries officially challenges ALL Chatter Chicks to make this happen in our time, in our community.
A substantial parade is necessary to have an impact. Therefore, it is imperative that invitations and arm-twisting for participation be extended to all de facto Chatter chicks, that is all female Chatter members, not just the top-secret, underground, invitation-only, elusive and exclusive auxillary of E-vil do-gooders known in legend as the Chatter Chicks.
Do us proud, chicks, and please, please give us exclusive coverage of the event.
Saturday 80's Confession
I've wore my hair like Cindi Lauper's, but could never get the Bonnie Tyler thing quite right.
Saturday Shop Talk by David Hampe
Newly-released analysis shows surprising results.
Our marketing department has recently discovered a positive correlation between the condition of being boycotted for demeaning men and the number of page views. The only normative conclusion we reach based on this new data is that we should demean men more if increased page views is the goal.
We'd like to direct readers' eyes to the right of the page. You may have to scroll to find it, but immediately under its heading, you will find a list of popular posts. They are ranked according to their popularity. Our experts interpret the patter they represent as evidence the "smut sells" trend is holding.
Bless you as you enjoy your Sunday Morning.
Saturday Editorial Comment
It's too tight. It won't burn.
Friday, August 19, 2011
You're not supposed to be here
Didn't you get the memo? We're being boycotted. Scab.
Breaking: While intense negotiations are ongoing among attorneys representing a local blogger, an alleged male model and our own representative, Betty Ann Ballbreaker, concerning complaints of sexual harassment and breach of contract, we've been advised to offer the following as a good-faith gesture.
Friday Editorial Comment
I totally crack myself up sometimes.
Breaking: While intense negotiations are ongoing among attorneys representing a local blogger, an alleged male model and our own representative, Betty Ann Ballbreaker, concerning complaints of sexual harassment and breach of contract, we've been advised to offer the following as a good-faith gesture.
Friday Editorial Comment
I totally crack myself up sometimes.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
2sday
Turn it up a little
This wasn't planned, but it's shaping up to be Some Warped-Ass Videos Week at The Commentaries AND Adding "-ass" to the End of Words Week! Your lucky day, yes?!
2sday Feature!!!!
How to Be a Chatter Asshole in Three Easy Lessons contributed by Ga'De Hachilhoo
Lesson One: Start throwing around variations of the word "negative," or, relatedly, insist people be positive. Such comments rightly invite slurs involving rainbows and unicorns. Some might suggest that if the place is such a downer, sign off and take a paxil. If you can manage to impugn the character of the entire Chatter membership and culture as being negative, or bitter, or politically motivated in their negativity, you'll really manage to piss some people off.
Calling people negative is, of course, negative, and the irony will drive people crazy. And seriously, what kind of asshole wanders up to a group of people, people who welcome him to join the conversation, then tells them how much they suck and the very tone he expects their conversations to take? I'll tell you what kind, the kind of asshole you can be if you implement Lesson One.
Lesson Two: Start some shit with a long-time member. Even folks who don't like your target will loyally circle the wagons to list your opponent's few but reliable good points or God-given rights. Even if they're too polite too say it, many will be thinking about you, "What's this asshole's problem? Is he trying to be a dick? Might be a nice guy if he didn't work so hard to be such a dick. Asshole."
Lesson Three: Belittle the number of people who actually read and participate on Chatter and/or suggest those who post there are just angry, politically-biased nutjobs and not representative of Clark County. Making either of these comments will make you a genuine asshole. Douche. Prick.
Think about it. Anyone can see several elected officials, heads of organizations, those in the media, candidates for office and businesses participate in some way on Chatter in order to communicate and receive information. There are people from all types of backgrounds, over 1000 members and, at any given time, many people reading it who don't actually sign in. And of course, the most obvious point of all, YOU'RE there and very likely have a political motive for being there.
Only an asshole would claim Chatter doesn't matter.
Bonus Lesson!!
Lesson Four: Master any two of the lessons above AND get a law degree.
2sday Editorial Comment
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.
This wasn't planned, but it's shaping up to be Some Warped-Ass Videos Week at The Commentaries AND Adding "-ass" to the End of Words Week! Your lucky day, yes?!
2sday Feature!!!!
How to Be a Chatter Asshole in Three Easy Lessons contributed by Ga'De Hachilhoo
Lesson One: Start throwing around variations of the word "negative," or, relatedly, insist people be positive. Such comments rightly invite slurs involving rainbows and unicorns. Some might suggest that if the place is such a downer, sign off and take a paxil. If you can manage to impugn the character of the entire Chatter membership and culture as being negative, or bitter, or politically motivated in their negativity, you'll really manage to piss some people off.
Calling people negative is, of course, negative, and the irony will drive people crazy. And seriously, what kind of asshole wanders up to a group of people, people who welcome him to join the conversation, then tells them how much they suck and the very tone he expects their conversations to take? I'll tell you what kind, the kind of asshole you can be if you implement Lesson One.
Lesson Two: Start some shit with a long-time member. Even folks who don't like your target will loyally circle the wagons to list your opponent's few but reliable good points or God-given rights. Even if they're too polite too say it, many will be thinking about you, "What's this asshole's problem? Is he trying to be a dick? Might be a nice guy if he didn't work so hard to be such a dick. Asshole."
Lesson Three: Belittle the number of people who actually read and participate on Chatter and/or suggest those who post there are just angry, politically-biased nutjobs and not representative of Clark County. Making either of these comments will make you a genuine asshole. Douche. Prick.
Think about it. Anyone can see several elected officials, heads of organizations, those in the media, candidates for office and businesses participate in some way on Chatter in order to communicate and receive information. There are people from all types of backgrounds, over 1000 members and, at any given time, many people reading it who don't actually sign in. And of course, the most obvious point of all, YOU'RE there and very likely have a political motive for being there.
Only an asshole would claim Chatter doesn't matter.
Bonus Lesson!!
Lesson Four: Master any two of the lessons above AND get a law degree.
2sday Editorial Comment
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday Mini-mega Edition!
Name that big-ass ugly baby!
According to multiple sources, the City of Jeffersonville's new RiverStage has finally made it to town.
New nicknames have abounded, most focusing on either its size or its blueness. Thoughts of Solid Gold and Wayne Newton have been evoked.
In case you've missed it, it is big and garishly blue. "The blue goose" appears to be a Chatter favorite. RiverStage just seems too humble and quaint for something of this magnitude.
So what names have you got?
Cowboy pic of the week! Bonus edition!
 |
| Not sure why they all hook their thumb in pockets or pants, but I'm not mad at 'em for it! |
Bonus edition because bonus cowboys!
There was actually a very, very tempting cowboy pic I ran across tonight. It just seemed to cross the line of what's appropriate, and Lord knows I wouldn't post anything inappropriate. Yet, to the ladies, gay readers and those that just respect the fine art that is the human body, search for "hot cowboy and his best friend" in Google Images and check out the first one that pops up.
Monday editorial comment
Now that is pretty, huh?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
It's still Thursday!
No Time Warp needed tonight.
What is this guy's problem? Obviously doesn't know what he's talking about.
Did you see all the guns and bombs and planes? Someone has to make all that stuff, and they get paid for doing it. Those are good paying jobs, some of them union, that put food on the table. Food kids eat. I guess he's got something against feeding children.
Those workers spend money on health care for their children. This guy is against kids getting their shots. I guess he'd rather children suffer from chicken pox and ear infections than have a little violence or threat.
Elderly American men invested in the companies that make all that stuff make nice livings. This allows them to continue contributing to our two-party system by financing elderly men in their political campaigns. I guess this commie singer wants to see our democracy destroyed.
He just doesn't get how important it is to provide jobs for working families and take care of those incapable of caring for themselves or make good decisions while acting in a spirit of bipartisanship. How sad.
Thursday Editorial Comment
How sad.
What is this guy's problem? Obviously doesn't know what he's talking about.
Did you see all the guns and bombs and planes? Someone has to make all that stuff, and they get paid for doing it. Those are good paying jobs, some of them union, that put food on the table. Food kids eat. I guess he's got something against feeding children.
Those workers spend money on health care for their children. This guy is against kids getting their shots. I guess he'd rather children suffer from chicken pox and ear infections than have a little violence or threat.
Elderly American men invested in the companies that make all that stuff make nice livings. This allows them to continue contributing to our two-party system by financing elderly men in their political campaigns. I guess this commie singer wants to see our democracy destroyed.
He just doesn't get how important it is to provide jobs for working families and take care of those incapable of caring for themselves or make good decisions while acting in a spirit of bipartisanship. How sad.
Thursday Editorial Comment
How sad.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Tipsy Tuesday?
I just totally made that up. I think. Somebody get that on a T-shirt. Stat!
Aggy's Mailbox
A bit of housekeeping before I get to today's letter: please send advice requests to aggysmailbox@gmail.com instead of just including as a comment on this nonsensical blog. I am merely a contributor to this shady publication and often don't read the posts or comments. Today's letter writer was fortunate their problem was forwarded to me by KatoAnon staff after posing their question on the "Hump Day" post.
Dear Aggy, Ever since I was a little girl I could never see other people pushed around or made fun off. Although my childhood wasn't so wonderful, I seem to care deeply for mistreated children and mistreated adults. I wonder if it my calling to help the less fortunate in the world. I'm just not sure how to do that? Sincerely!
Dear Anonymous, It's quite normal to have little tolerance for witnessing abuse. Those who relish seeing pain inflicted on others are unusual. Given this, it is unclear upon what you're basing your sense of "calling" in this area.
Of course, there are plenty of people out there who need help and many ways to help. I would suggest applying to be a foster parent, a CASA volunteer or mentor. You describe your childhood as not "so wonderful," which could mean many things. One of the benefits of trying to help through an established organization is a screening process and participation criteria that will help you determine whether such work is a healthy choice for you and whether you have the skills and traits to be of help to someone who needs it.
Work with those who have been mistreated is a delicate thing. If one is expecting something for themselves, whether some kind of vindication of their own wounds or glory and gratitude for the work, they could inadvertently do more harm than good as well as be profoundly disappointed in the results.
Above all, helping others should be about those receiving the help, not the helpers, and perhaps the most good any person can do to help others is, first, do no harm.
Hope this helped, and please keep a look-out for my new workshop tour coming to an area near you, "Finding Fulfillment in a Full of It World." The $49.99 enrollment fee includes a free workbook, t-shirt and a copy of my new book, "Don't Get Ripped off by Workshop Scams."
To forum or not to forum
The editorial team is debating whether to launch a forum connected to this blog.
Arguments for: there are things we'd like to throw out for discussion; posters to the Clark County Chatter are admonished for going "off topic" while we think that's half the fun; an alternative local forum has been taken over by people that get off on talking about perverted stuff, and we don't mean good perverted; it might be kinda cool.
Arguments against: there is no way we're going to spend every minute of the day moderating such a forum, but we will not allow posters to violate the "no hatin' unless funny and deserved according to primary author's taste" rule, and we have reason to believe some haters will have difficulty resisting. Actually, that's just one big, fat, ugly argument against, which sucks since haters shouldn't have that much sway.
Other thoughts?
The anti-climax
We know several readers spent the evening on edge waiting to hear about the big hoods vs. preps rumble scheduled to take place at the GCCS Admin Building.
It didn't happen. One hood and her favorite bean counter were there. The prep that will never actually be popular didn't show.
Tuesday editorial comment
Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
Aggy's Mailbox
A bit of housekeeping before I get to today's letter: please send advice requests to aggysmailbox@gmail.com instead of just including as a comment on this nonsensical blog. I am merely a contributor to this shady publication and often don't read the posts or comments. Today's letter writer was fortunate their problem was forwarded to me by KatoAnon staff after posing their question on the "Hump Day" post.
Dear Aggy, Ever since I was a little girl I could never see other people pushed around or made fun off. Although my childhood wasn't so wonderful, I seem to care deeply for mistreated children and mistreated adults. I wonder if it my calling to help the less fortunate in the world. I'm just not sure how to do that? Sincerely!
Dear Anonymous, It's quite normal to have little tolerance for witnessing abuse. Those who relish seeing pain inflicted on others are unusual. Given this, it is unclear upon what you're basing your sense of "calling" in this area.
Of course, there are plenty of people out there who need help and many ways to help. I would suggest applying to be a foster parent, a CASA volunteer or mentor. You describe your childhood as not "so wonderful," which could mean many things. One of the benefits of trying to help through an established organization is a screening process and participation criteria that will help you determine whether such work is a healthy choice for you and whether you have the skills and traits to be of help to someone who needs it.
Work with those who have been mistreated is a delicate thing. If one is expecting something for themselves, whether some kind of vindication of their own wounds or glory and gratitude for the work, they could inadvertently do more harm than good as well as be profoundly disappointed in the results.
Above all, helping others should be about those receiving the help, not the helpers, and perhaps the most good any person can do to help others is, first, do no harm.
Hope this helped, and please keep a look-out for my new workshop tour coming to an area near you, "Finding Fulfillment in a Full of It World." The $49.99 enrollment fee includes a free workbook, t-shirt and a copy of my new book, "Don't Get Ripped off by Workshop Scams."
To forum or not to forum
The editorial team is debating whether to launch a forum connected to this blog.
Arguments for: there are things we'd like to throw out for discussion; posters to the Clark County Chatter are admonished for going "off topic" while we think that's half the fun; an alternative local forum has been taken over by people that get off on talking about perverted stuff, and we don't mean good perverted; it might be kinda cool.
Arguments against: there is no way we're going to spend every minute of the day moderating such a forum, but we will not allow posters to violate the "no hatin' unless funny and deserved according to primary author's taste" rule, and we have reason to believe some haters will have difficulty resisting. Actually, that's just one big, fat, ugly argument against, which sucks since haters shouldn't have that much sway.
Other thoughts?
The anti-climax
We know several readers spent the evening on edge waiting to hear about the big hoods vs. preps rumble scheduled to take place at the GCCS Admin Building.
It didn't happen. One hood and her favorite bean counter were there. The prep that will never actually be popular didn't show.
Tuesday editorial comment
Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
Monday, August 8, 2011
Wait for it!
Wait for it!
Monday Mega-Edition!
Secretary Geithner, maybe at some of your former jobs - Central Bank Commie, Wall Street bigwig, used car salesman, whatever - you could just totally pull stuff out of your ass and make it work for you, but I'm thinking this time it's gonna come back to bite ya.
"Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said Tuesday there is 'no risk' the U.S. will lose its top credit rating amid a new analysis that revised its outlook on American debt to 'negative.'"
"There is no chance that the U.S. will lose its top credit rating, Geithner said, forcefully disputing the notion that S&P or other ratings services might downgrade U.S. bonds from their current AAA rating.
'No risk of that, no risk,' Geithner said on the Fox Business Network."
Source: The Hill Finance & Economy Blog
Clark County budget woes
A Community Conversation
HoosierTaxpayer has challenged the local blogger community to save Clark County from its financial rut.
It is difficult to add much to his and Goliath's lists. Legalizing sin and freeing prisoners is a little radical for my taste, but they've made compelling arguments, and I'm inclined to agree.
I do have the following refinements of their ideas and few additional options to throw out there:
1. Goliath & HT don't fully understand the art of annexation. You must maximize the Mcmansions and minimize the mobile homes. So, yes, by all means sell Bordon, but then annex either The Knobs or Prospect. BONUS long-term economic benefit if after annexing Prospect, we pass an ordinance that the River Fields folks must STFU. Presto! East End Bridge and related economic activity in the county.
2. I concur with my colleagues on the furloughing of non-violent offenders from the county jail. They added sex crimes, but they don't hang around enough feminists. Sex crimes are violent crimes. Listing both is unnecessary, and we need something that fits on a bumper sticker.
3. Sell Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan and Sheriff Danny Rodden to feed rescued wildlife. Hear me out! Rodden takes money scalped from caged inmates to make nice with the 4-H people by buying a poor piggy to be fed back to caged inmates. Galligan is a serial tree and wildlife-habitat killer. It would really just be evening things up with Mother Nature. Karma would totally approve as would PETA. Oh, and I almost forgot, they cost the county a fortune (Rodden's costs are obvious; for Galligan's see annexing Mcmansions above).
4. Mug Dr. D. Rumor has it he's making bank. I'm just sayin'.
5. Travel to St. Louis or wherever Galligan's big blue monster is docked (update: this option just got cheaper and easier; it has arrived), seize the hideous thing and put the mystery guys with the city okay to partake of the scrappin' in properties acquired in the canal zone to work on that bad boy.
Cowboy pic of the week!
Monday Editorial Comment
Raise your hand if your brain accidentally said, "I'd like to go to work on that bad boy."
Monday Mega-Edition!
Secretary Geithner, maybe at some of your former jobs - Central Bank Commie, Wall Street bigwig, used car salesman, whatever - you could just totally pull stuff out of your ass and make it work for you, but I'm thinking this time it's gonna come back to bite ya.
"Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said Tuesday there is 'no risk' the U.S. will lose its top credit rating amid a new analysis that revised its outlook on American debt to 'negative.'"
"There is no chance that the U.S. will lose its top credit rating, Geithner said, forcefully disputing the notion that S&P or other ratings services might downgrade U.S. bonds from their current AAA rating.
'No risk of that, no risk,' Geithner said on the Fox Business Network."
Source: The Hill Finance & Economy Blog
Clark County budget woes
A Community Conversation
HoosierTaxpayer has challenged the local blogger community to save Clark County from its financial rut.
It is difficult to add much to his and Goliath's lists. Legalizing sin and freeing prisoners is a little radical for my taste, but they've made compelling arguments, and I'm inclined to agree.
I do have the following refinements of their ideas and few additional options to throw out there:
1. Goliath & HT don't fully understand the art of annexation. You must maximize the Mcmansions and minimize the mobile homes. So, yes, by all means sell Bordon, but then annex either The Knobs or Prospect. BONUS long-term economic benefit if after annexing Prospect, we pass an ordinance that the River Fields folks must STFU. Presto! East End Bridge and related economic activity in the county.
2. I concur with my colleagues on the furloughing of non-violent offenders from the county jail. They added sex crimes, but they don't hang around enough feminists. Sex crimes are violent crimes. Listing both is unnecessary, and we need something that fits on a bumper sticker.
3. Sell Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan and Sheriff Danny Rodden to feed rescued wildlife. Hear me out! Rodden takes money scalped from caged inmates to make nice with the 4-H people by buying a poor piggy to be fed back to caged inmates. Galligan is a serial tree and wildlife-habitat killer. It would really just be evening things up with Mother Nature. Karma would totally approve as would PETA. Oh, and I almost forgot, they cost the county a fortune (Rodden's costs are obvious; for Galligan's see annexing Mcmansions above).
4. Mug Dr. D. Rumor has it he's making bank. I'm just sayin'.
5. Travel to St. Louis or wherever Galligan's big blue monster is docked (update: this option just got cheaper and easier; it has arrived), seize the hideous thing and put the mystery guys with the city okay to partake of the scrappin' in properties acquired in the canal zone to work on that bad boy.
Cowboy pic of the week!
Monday Editorial Comment
Raise your hand if your brain accidentally said, "I'd like to go to work on that bad boy."
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
TGIF
Boogie tunage per request
Moral dilemma of the week
It's appropriate to ask this as we enjoy music from the era when there were still crackheads aplenty. I hadn't seen any crackheads recently as they seemed to have been a herd thinned by attrition then replaced with meth and pill heads, but one has surfaced in my daily life.
Once upon at time, I despised all crackhead and had no real sympathy for any of them. They were everywhere and would steal anything they could get their scrawny, dirty little hands on.
Now, into my daily routine one of the most pathetic creatures I've ever seen has entered. He is a one-armed presumably homeless dude who is either at least 60 or has lived hard enough to look like it. His weight appears to roughly equal his years. The first time I saw him, he had a hospital bracelet on, ripped clothes and some blood stains here and there.
I run into various homeless folks and bums daily. Some I count among my friends, but I'm also wise enough to some of their games to, for example, hide my cigarettes on occasion to avoid handing them all out and having to head back to the store.
This guy though, the first time I saw him, I felt so sorry for him, I actually, for the first time ever, stopped him, asked him if he smoked and offered him a cigarette. He said he had some and didn't need one, then asked if I had dollar. I didn't because I rarely carry cash, but I was stupidly impressed that he turned down the smoke.
Since then, I've discovered he pulled two crack pipes out in front of some people, and today he totally freaked out a friend of mine by making what appeared to be a proposition of some sort involving his mouth. Yesterday, I got fussed at for buying him a soft drink to-go by employees at a local restaurant where they've had to run him off for upsetting customers.
So, enabling is wrong, but I'm not sure if making sure someone has something cold to drink on a hot day is really enabling. Continuing to help the guy, therefore encouraging him to hang around, is upsetting non-crackhead people who I've known longer and probably have a greater moral obligation to care about. If his behavior is running off paying customers, that hurts the income of good people.
Yet he is pathetic as hell and has never been anything but polite to me. What little money and cigarettes I have just start flying out of my pockets when I see him.
WWJD?
Friday editorial comment
Well that was a real downer.
Moral dilemma of the week
It's appropriate to ask this as we enjoy music from the era when there were still crackheads aplenty. I hadn't seen any crackheads recently as they seemed to have been a herd thinned by attrition then replaced with meth and pill heads, but one has surfaced in my daily life.
Once upon at time, I despised all crackhead and had no real sympathy for any of them. They were everywhere and would steal anything they could get their scrawny, dirty little hands on.
Now, into my daily routine one of the most pathetic creatures I've ever seen has entered. He is a one-armed presumably homeless dude who is either at least 60 or has lived hard enough to look like it. His weight appears to roughly equal his years. The first time I saw him, he had a hospital bracelet on, ripped clothes and some blood stains here and there.
I run into various homeless folks and bums daily. Some I count among my friends, but I'm also wise enough to some of their games to, for example, hide my cigarettes on occasion to avoid handing them all out and having to head back to the store.
This guy though, the first time I saw him, I felt so sorry for him, I actually, for the first time ever, stopped him, asked him if he smoked and offered him a cigarette. He said he had some and didn't need one, then asked if I had dollar. I didn't because I rarely carry cash, but I was stupidly impressed that he turned down the smoke.
Since then, I've discovered he pulled two crack pipes out in front of some people, and today he totally freaked out a friend of mine by making what appeared to be a proposition of some sort involving his mouth. Yesterday, I got fussed at for buying him a soft drink to-go by employees at a local restaurant where they've had to run him off for upsetting customers.
So, enabling is wrong, but I'm not sure if making sure someone has something cold to drink on a hot day is really enabling. Continuing to help the guy, therefore encouraging him to hang around, is upsetting non-crackhead people who I've known longer and probably have a greater moral obligation to care about. If his behavior is running off paying customers, that hurts the income of good people.
Yet he is pathetic as hell and has never been anything but polite to me. What little money and cigarettes I have just start flying out of my pockets when I see him.
WWJD?
Friday editorial comment
Well that was a real downer.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
What day is it?
I have no idea what is going on in this video - maybe David Bowie going through menopause - but it looks and sounds groovy.
Cool phrase of the week
"sugar-coated Satan sandwich"
Who's hungry?
Did you forget something?
I've been trying to con you people into pretty much writing this stuff for me. What do you got?
On a totally, totally unrelated note, don't forget to send your requests for advice to Aggy's Mailbox at aggy'smailbox@gmail.com .
Agatha Agate Aggregate, Ph.D.,MD, DDS, MBA, NBA, NRA, is a practicing psychiatrist, though she prefers the term "shrink" to stress her lack of pretentiousness, and author of several books including the bestselling, "Take a Valium and Shut Up," and, "Recovery is for Quitters."
She also studied under this guy:
And yet another Bernie Mac reference. He's trying to communicate something to me from beyond the grave.
Thursday editorial comment
This secret identity shit is hard.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Hump Day Extravaganza!
This song and video are surprisingly good. Reminds me of the days MTV played videos and the videos were actually neat rather than concert footage, one big booty after another or a singer wandering around an old house. The video does beg a question: does "slut" mean something different in German?
Special announcement: First Annual KatoAnon Commentaries "Photo" Contest!!!
Our art department has expressed their enthusiasm for local talent in the area of "photography." Two outstanding examples include these works by Cindiloohoo and HoosierTaxpayer.
Think you can possibly top these?
Here are the rules:
Submit your "photos" to The Commentaries by August 19th via email to katoanon@gmail.com. "Photos" that make the cut according to our art department will be presented as part of the Aug. 22 Monday Mega-Edition. A poll will be conducted and left open for voting through the 28th, and winners will be announced on the 29th.
Unlike some blog contests, this one comes with real prizes. Besides bragging rights, winners will receive free admission to all free city-sponsored events for the rest of the summer AND free events on the Louisville Waterfront AND free admission to city parks AND - are you sitting down for this one? - a $20 gift certificate for Jerry's Family Restaurant!
This is the best excuse we could come up with for lifting cindi's and HT's pictures and posting them here, so we hope to have robust participation in this contest - or not, in which case we won't have to invest $20.
Our friends are our inspiration
A Facebook friend announced having the rare experience of seeing manatees getting it on but mourned her failure to get pictures. We were disappointed, too. Exclusive manatee porn would've put us on the map! Best we could do was pilfer these from Google Images
and strangely enough...
This info is important for two reasons. It shows we have a readership in Florida, and it shows how desperate we are for material. We've been employing the post-a-day strategy with this blog, and as you've surely noticed, sometimes we're just phoning it in.
Please, please, pretty please, comment here or be our Facebook friend at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100002636802732 to do part of the work for us.
It's also important to note that, according to our research on the subject of manatee mating, which involved a full two minutes of skimming images, manatees are into the group thing. For the sake of the children that may accidentally land here, we selected images that didn't highlight this polyamorous streak, but manatees are freaky.
Wednesday Editorial Comment
What? A comment? I'm still hung over from the party in the hood. Leave me alone or get me a bloody mary.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Party in the Neighborhood
Git those hands up
As some of you may know, tonight was National Night Out, an across-the-country effort to get people out partying in the streets.
Given The Commentaries' deep sense of civic responsibility, we got out there and partied with the best of them. I'm not going to say which neighborhood we partied in...
...but it was so off the hook, the chief of police, several other officers, the superintendent of schools and mayor were all called in to help restore order. Everywhere we looked, there was crazy partying, jello shots, nip slips, and that was just the mayor. There were also kids playing frisbee and making balloon animals. The cops broke down and started handing out pencils to get the crowd under control.
So we're really just too buzzed to get a proper Tuesday edition out to the fans. That, and Dr. D is waiting on us with a limo full of strippers. Sorry. We'd tell you to complain to the editor tomorrow, but she's gonna have a doozy of a hangover, so good luck with that.
Drunken Tuesday Editorial Comment
I miss Dave Chappelle. Dave, Dave, where are ya, man?
As some of you may know, tonight was National Night Out, an across-the-country effort to get people out partying in the streets.
Given The Commentaries' deep sense of civic responsibility, we got out there and partied with the best of them. I'm not going to say which neighborhood we partied in...
...but it was so off the hook, the chief of police, several other officers, the superintendent of schools and mayor were all called in to help restore order. Everywhere we looked, there was crazy partying, jello shots, nip slips, and that was just the mayor. There were also kids playing frisbee and making balloon animals. The cops broke down and started handing out pencils to get the crowd under control.
So we're really just too buzzed to get a proper Tuesday edition out to the fans. That, and Dr. D is waiting on us with a limo full of strippers. Sorry. We'd tell you to complain to the editor tomorrow, but she's gonna have a doozy of a hangover, so good luck with that.
Drunken Tuesday Editorial Comment
I miss Dave Chappelle. Dave, Dave, where are ya, man?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monday Mega-Edition!!!
KatoAnon Commentaries Exclusive!!! Hot Chick Action!!!
We're proud to announce The Commentaries has been given the single most honorable recognition of a local blog one could hope to achieve, even better than Best Summer Blog 2011 from the Goliathandwimmens blog poll. The divas grace us. We have arrived.
The KatoAnon Commentaries presents: Chatter Chick Minutes!!!
Official meeting Minutes
Chatter Chicks July 2011 Regular Meeting
The previously-undisclosed location for this meeting was The Onion Tea House on Charlestown Rd. Meeting took place on Saturday July 30 at 2 p.m.
ChatterChicks in attendance: HoundDog, cindiloohoo, Debbie, kelley, Teresa Fisher, Gabriella and having their Chick Cherry popped by attending their first meeting, hoosiermom and Little Pickle.
Acceptance of previous minutes: oops. Debbie recorded May minutes that never entered the public record due to HoosierTaxpayers’ dedication to finding bin Laden and absence from the BatBlog.
June’s minutes were kelley’s responsibility, but kelley left for a camping trip shortly after the meeting and hasn’t been right since. Cindiloohoo was charged by the membership with writing this month’s minutes, but she welched and pawned the responsibility off on kelley.
There was also a supplemental July meeting to send off HappyCat on her new life adventure, but if anyone wrote minutes for that one, this minutes’ writer hasn’t seen them.
Next month’s meeting will include a workshop on responsibility and conquering procrastination. If not next month, the workshop will be in September or October and almost certainly before Christmas.
Though we failed to make a reservation, it was apparent our reputation proceeded us as The Onion staff wisely sequestered us in a private room. However, the poor waiter failed to calculate that meant he would be alone with us. Though he was very polite and didn’t say anything, the little jump and startled expression he exhibited each time he passed Debbie gave the distinct impression he’d been goosed.
Staff also expressed some shock when, seeing no alcohol on site, cindiloohoo began taking shots of soy sauce. We explained it’s just her way, and a cultural bridge was crossed. Note: we learned two days after the meeting, from ex-pat Happy Cat, there was wine present. She suggests they hid it when they saw us coming.
The first order of new business was a discussion of the possible, but untried, merits of bubble tea. After and an hour and a half of debate, no bubble tea was ordered.
Cindiloohoo’s new Chick of the Sea crown was chosen as best tiara by a measurement of the oohs and aahs expressed by the membership. Cindi set a new standard by also presenting a beaded handbag selected from that poshest of all boutiques, eBay.
Talk turned political as two chicks, hoosiermom and Teresa, discussed their experiences of getting extra screwed by the city of Jeffersonville with the Vissing Park and canal issues respectively. We also lamented the fact we may not be seeing much more of Teresa after slick Hollywood agent David Mann makes her famous as early as Monday.
For the monthly fashion presentation, Little Pickle showed the rest of us up by wearing pearls and a chic red hat and confessing she had to leave early to primp further for a wedding.
There was a bit of scandalous gossip about cindiloohoo, Gabriella and kelley, but since they were outside smoking, they have no idea what was said about them.
Two chicks remitted friendship payments. Hoosiermom distributed beaded “survivor” bracelets she had crafted. Several had breast cancer ribbon pendants. Teresa was disappointed not to find a colon-cancer brown one. HoundDog distributed “Greyt Scents,” yummy-smelling air fresheners in the Chicks' signature tiara shape. We voted to allow both Chicks to continue hanging out with us.
This month’s official act of E-vil was to contribute to the ongoing Chick effort to assist a homeless young mom within hoosiermom’s extended family. We wrote checks and practiced our diabolical cackling.
Though the party was just getting started, the parade through the room of Onion staff members looking at their watches required we adjourn.
Diabolically submitted,
kelley
Thanks for submitting these coveted minutes to The Commentaries, chicks!
Cowboy pic of the week!
Either Cowboy or I are off our feed. Our schedules just aren't in sync this week, and after the mob I encountered to get a shot off last week, then losing my camera to some crazy woman...it's just not working out.
I do have a consolation prize. A Facebook friend suggested The Commentaries was using beefcake to distract from the absence of the promised Cowboy image. We weren't, but it's a brilliant idea!
So we offer a compromise.
For real, Cowboy pic of the week!
I don't know about you hussies, but, though I love our Cowboy, I'd rather have a picture of this one.
Monday Editorial Comment
G'up!
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