Turn it up a little
This wasn't planned, but it's shaping up to be Some Warped-Ass Videos Week at The Commentaries AND Adding "-ass" to the End of Words Week! Your lucky day, yes?!
2sday Feature!!!!
How to Be a Chatter Asshole in Three Easy Lessons contributed by Ga'De Hachilhoo
Lesson One: Start throwing around variations of the word "negative," or, relatedly, insist people be positive. Such comments rightly invite slurs involving rainbows and unicorns. Some might suggest that if the place is such a downer, sign off and take a paxil. If you can manage to impugn the character of the entire Chatter membership and culture as being negative, or bitter, or politically motivated in their negativity, you'll really manage to piss some people off.
Calling people negative is, of course, negative, and the irony will drive people crazy. And seriously, what kind of asshole wanders up to a group of people, people who welcome him to join the conversation, then tells them how much they suck and the very tone he expects their conversations to take? I'll tell you what kind, the kind of asshole you can be if you implement Lesson One.
Lesson Two: Start some shit with a long-time member. Even folks who don't like your target will loyally circle the wagons to list your opponent's few but reliable good points or God-given rights. Even if they're too polite too say it, many will be thinking about you, "What's this asshole's problem? Is he trying to be a dick? Might be a nice guy if he didn't work so hard to be such a dick. Asshole."
Lesson Three: Belittle the number of people who actually read and participate on Chatter and/or suggest those who post there are just angry, politically-biased nutjobs and not representative of Clark County. Making either of these comments will make you a genuine asshole. Douche. Prick.
Think about it. Anyone can see several elected officials, heads of organizations, those in the media, candidates for office and businesses participate in some way on Chatter in order to communicate and receive information. There are people from all types of backgrounds, over 1000 members and, at any given time, many people reading it who don't actually sign in. And of course, the most obvious point of all, YOU'RE there and very likely have a political motive for being there.
Only an asshole would claim Chatter doesn't matter.
Bonus Lesson!!
Lesson Four: Master any two of the lessons above AND get a law degree.
2sday Editorial Comment
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.
You know you should really try to be a little more positive. All this negativity really brings your blog down. I think you should only start posting positive things. Of course it really does not matter. There are only about four people that read this anyway. Don't get me wrong I really have no political motive for saying any of this I am just trying to help you out here.
ReplyDeleteDo you think that was a good enough response for the good people in The Indiana Bar Association to allow me to be an attorney despite the fact that I barely graduated college and never even thought of going to law school? Well forget about that time I took The LSAT with a massive hangover. That does not count. I will just tell them that I past The Katoanon test.
Brian Coffman