As some of you may know, tonight was National Night Out, an across-the-country effort to get people out partying in the streets.
Given The Commentaries' deep sense of civic responsibility, we got out there and partied with the best of them. I'm not going to say which neighborhood we partied in...
...but it was so off the hook, the chief of police, several other officers, the superintendent of schools and mayor were all called in to help restore order. Everywhere we looked, there was crazy partying, jello shots, nip slips, and that was just the mayor. There were also kids playing frisbee and making balloon animals. The cops broke down and started handing out pencils to get the crowd under control.
So we're really just too buzzed to get a proper Tuesday edition out to the fans. That, and Dr. D is waiting on us with a limo full of strippers. Sorry. We'd tell you to complain to the editor tomorrow, but she's gonna have a doozy of a hangover, so good luck with that.
Drunken Tuesday Editorial Comment
I miss Dave Chappelle. Dave, Dave, where are ya, man?
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